there's a reason my aunt mary wasn't invited to my sister's wedding. she has the midas touch, only the kind that turns everything into crap instead of gold. of course, that doesn't stop her from driving down from seattle anyway.
the first thing my parents did this morning was go check to make sure she hadn't taken one of my little sisters and run off in the night. (she tried to take one of them when she was a baby, and some physical violence ensued when my mom tried to stop her.)
then we were going to go up to thousand oaks to go to church at our old ward and visit some old friends. surprisingly enough mary wanted to come. (she was just wearing a t-shirt and shorts, but decided to wear a dress on top of it. one that didn't fit and she was supposedly fixing. it was missing a sleeve and was cut all the way up the front, so it really just looked like some type of freakish white lace trenchcoat.) none of the family are allowed to drive with her, and we didn't all fit in one car, so my mom drove mary in her car.
halfway into the 90 minute trip, nicole called and told my mom that before they left for their honeymoon they were going to david's parents to open presents. my mom wanted to go, so after a lengthy side-of-the-road discussion, we decided to turn around. then after some scary stuff, swearing, and people going wrong directions, we realized that taking mary to hang with the new in-laws was definitely a major lapse in judgment, and instead turned back around again.
long story short (or less long) we finally made it to the church, just as the last car was leaving. after a 4 1/2 hour car trip (did i say 90 min? nothing is that simple with mary...) we turned back around. again.
we made it back in 90 min though (even though there was a close call with a state trooper, not about speeding) and went to dinner at my mom's best friend nancy's house (they were mission companions and roommates at byu). luckily mary did pretty well. she was kind of creepy and incessantly talked all kinds of nonsense, and insisted on showing everyone her ugly paintings and handing out business cards and talking about how she was going to be famous, but managed to do it without swearing or yelling and at least tried to appear sane, even though that's basically impossible.
we eventually all made it back to the hotel safely. and though the whole day was spent discussing survival tactics, and how to get rid of her without pissing her off and creating a family fiasco (there's a lot of complicated history there), we were given a brief respite when she decided to go to the hotel bar. of the hotel next door. and since my dad made sure she didn't have a key to the room (that's just asking for trouble) he's now waiting for her to come back. because even though he went to the desk and had the keys changed and gave them specific instructions regarding her, she's looking for an excuse to get a new room key made. she said she'd be back around midnight. it's almost 2am now. and i'm really not excited for when she does, cuz as far as i remember drunk crazy mary is even worse than regular crazy mary.
the first thing my parents did this morning was go check to make sure she hadn't taken one of my little sisters and run off in the night. (she tried to take one of them when she was a baby, and some physical violence ensued when my mom tried to stop her.)
then we were going to go up to thousand oaks to go to church at our old ward and visit some old friends. surprisingly enough mary wanted to come. (she was just wearing a t-shirt and shorts, but decided to wear a dress on top of it. one that didn't fit and she was supposedly fixing. it was missing a sleeve and was cut all the way up the front, so it really just looked like some type of freakish white lace trenchcoat.) none of the family are allowed to drive with her, and we didn't all fit in one car, so my mom drove mary in her car.
halfway into the 90 minute trip, nicole called and told my mom that before they left for their honeymoon they were going to david's parents to open presents. my mom wanted to go, so after a lengthy side-of-the-road discussion, we decided to turn around. then after some scary stuff, swearing, and people going wrong directions, we realized that taking mary to hang with the new in-laws was definitely a major lapse in judgment, and instead turned back around again.
long story short (or less long) we finally made it to the church, just as the last car was leaving. after a 4 1/2 hour car trip (did i say 90 min? nothing is that simple with mary...) we turned back around. again.
we made it back in 90 min though (even though there was a close call with a state trooper, not about speeding) and went to dinner at my mom's best friend nancy's house (they were mission companions and roommates at byu). luckily mary did pretty well. she was kind of creepy and incessantly talked all kinds of nonsense, and insisted on showing everyone her ugly paintings and handing out business cards and talking about how she was going to be famous, but managed to do it without swearing or yelling and at least tried to appear sane, even though that's basically impossible.
we eventually all made it back to the hotel safely. and though the whole day was spent discussing survival tactics, and how to get rid of her without pissing her off and creating a family fiasco (there's a lot of complicated history there), we were given a brief respite when she decided to go to the hotel bar. of the hotel next door. and since my dad made sure she didn't have a key to the room (that's just asking for trouble) he's now waiting for her to come back. because even though he went to the desk and had the keys changed and gave them specific instructions regarding her, she's looking for an excuse to get a new room key made. she said she'd be back around midnight. it's almost 2am now. and i'm really not excited for when she does, cuz as far as i remember drunk crazy mary is even worse than regular crazy mary.
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