when there's someone you hardly know...

...and wish you were closer to...

actually, i ought to rewrite that...

when there's someone you hardly know
and they wish they were closer to you...

so, i admit, the date was nice, even if it was blind. the best blind date of my life (but that really isn't saying much). but still i would be perfectly content to never see the guy again. not that he wasn't nice...but...ugh...i'm not in that place where i want to date someone just to be dating anyone; it should be someone i actually want to be with. i'm happy to give somebody a chance, or just go for fun: one date is fine, maybe two, but i don't see this going anywhere, and eventually i'm going to have to give this guy the shaft. maybe i'm more of a heartbreaker than i thought.
but of course when he tells me he'll call me and that he wants to see me again, i say okay. there is seriously something wrong with me. i'm really not a nice person! if i were, i'd be straight with the guy. sigh. i'm just chicken. i'm used to being heartbroken, not a heartbreaker. i should just be mean and get it over with, instead of dragging it on, spending time with somebody i don't want to, wasting my time and his. sigh. i wonder how often guys feel this way about me. in fact, now that i think about it, i'm pretty sure i can think of a few people who do. how depressing. [expletive]. blah. dating sucks.

my heart is on my sleeve
wear it like a bruise or a black eye...
loaded words and loaded friends
are loaded guns to our heads