some of you may have already heard about this, but i have a psycho stalker. he came into jamba again today, stood in the lobby for a couple of minutes and stared at me while i poured smoothies, and then walked back out again. didn't say a word to anyone. and it occurred to me, that this was a great story, and deserved to be preserved for posterity...so here goes...watch out, cuz this is the long version...
my story begins over a year ago. january 2006? i'm just leaving my apartment on my way to rehearsal for concert choir, probably about 1:30 in the afternoon. as i'm walking across the parking lot, this kid walks up and asks me, pointing at lavell edwards stadium, if that was the stadium. i answered in the affirmative. he then asks me if that meant that the road up ahead was canyon road. i tell him yes again, as i put in my earphones and proceed to try and ditch the kid, who seemed a little creepy. he then asks me if he could walk with me. well, it is a public sidewalk, so i just sort of shrug and try to answer as indistinctly as possible and make it clear that i'm attempting to ignore him. so, then he introduces himself...his name is moroni. what a great utah name...for a psycho... he has this drawstring canvas bag that he's carrying on his shoulder, and it looks like there's some kind of model sailboat inside. he then tells me that his mom is in the hospital and that he's selling all his stuff to try and make some money to help her. i obviously have no need for a model sailboat, but advise him that he go up to the residential area near the stadium. he doesn't seem to care about my suggestion, but instead asks me how old i am. i tell him i'm 24 (bit of an exaggeration as i wasn't quite, but i was trying to make myself seem less vulnerable). he tells me he's 19, but that he's dated 24 year olds before. (yeah right!) he asks if i have a boyfriend and i of course lie and tell him yes...and that he's big. so he then begins to tell me about how he walked all the way here from mexico when he was like 9 years old, and that his family found him in draper and took him to the hospital because he was sick and had some messed up stuff in his brain. at this point i stopped trying to be nice, and started trying to think of ways to get rid of the kid, without pissing him off enough to go postal on me. anyway...he then completely contradicts his previous story by telling me how his mom who lives in a giant mansion in mexico with millions of servants and millions of dollars, wants him to find a nice girl to bring back to mexico...holy crap! freaking out!... so, by now we've walked up by the marriott center and are waiting to cross the street, so i tell him that i have to go to class, but that if he turns around and goes the opposite way there are some houses where maybe he can sell his stuff. he runs off without a word, up the stairs to the marriott center, and i walk along the street, much relieved. until i get to the other end of the building and he comes bounding back down them again. luckily he is now ahead of me, and i begin to walk, as slowly as possible, across the street toward campus. however, at the other side of the street he stops dead in his tracks... i have no choice but to stay standing in the road for some indeterminate amount of time, or keep walking. and, sure enough, as soon as i begin to pass him, he's right back in step walking next to me. i want to scream and run away, but that doesn't seem reasonable, and the kid might be weird, but doesn't seem too dangerous...so i keep walking. besides, choir is graded solely on attendance and punctuality, and so i don't have time to mess around with this kid. he then tells me about this friend that he was just talking to. he hadn't been talking to anyone. i was the only person around. and he asks if i just saw his friend who he talked to in the limo that had just driven by. there were no cars on the road, definitely not any limos. uh-huh... so then he tells me that he has an implant in his ear and that he can hear his best friend talking to him. at this point the word "schizophrenia" comes to mind, and i wonder if i could maybe get the kid to walk all the way to the utah state hospital with me... but then as we're walking by the ASB i get really freaked out because now he's telling me how his "friend" has all of these satellite cameras and that he takes pictures of everyone at byu and that he has files on them all, and that his "friend" showed him a picture of a really pretty girl who was "short like a hobbit" and told him that he needed to go find this girl...and he tells me "so i did. and it was you." and now i was really scared. so, now he's telling me all about these satellite cameras and stuff, and how powerful they are, and i'm walking as fast as i can to the HFAC, and luckily he didn't follow me inside.
so, after class i have to walk home, and can i tell you that i've never been so paranoid in my life. i was constantly checking to make sure i wasn't being followed. aah! but, everything seems clear, and i'm not too worried, 'cept that i know he knows where i live!!!!!
so a couple of weeks later i see him at macey's (the grocery store). he walks right up to me, shakes my hand and asks me if i remember him. aah! i say yes, but ask him to remind me of his name. he does, but tells me that i'd better remember it the next time. oh help! i manage to get away, but notice him following me around and peeking at me from behind shelves, displays, etc. creepy!
he doesn't talk to me anymore after that, but i often would see him sneaking around and staring at me when i'd go shopping, until they finished the new reams and i quit shopping at macey's. every now and again though i see him wandering around near my apartments...sometimes when i'm walking places...alone...at which times i walk a lot faster than usual, and look behind me much more often...
a few months later: it's summertime and we're hiring at jamba. i see this kid walk into the store, and i run and hide in the back. he gives an application to the other manager, which indicates that he is available a whopping 5 hours a week. luckily everyone else thinks the kid's a whack-job too, and it's quickly filed away in the trash can, much to my relief. but, he then continues to come in every day for the next couple weeks, asking for the manager about his application. one of these times i was the only manager in the store, and so i had to go talk to him. i tell him that if we have his application that we have his information and basically give him the "don't call us, we'll call you" bit. he keeps coming in every day, but eventually quits asking about a job, and instead just stands in the lobby. sometimes he asks how much things cost, or what time it is before leaving. sometimes he just stands there for a minute. he never buys anything. after a while these random visits become more sporadic, and i chill out.
fall semester at dinner club, i mention something about this, and come to find out that i'm not the only one who's had run-ins with the kid. he apparently has tried to sell many of my friends a guitar amp for "a thousand bucks". they all declined. he was creepy and pushy... he is dubbed my fake mexican boyfriend... ugh...
jackie drags me to macey's one day, because she likes it better than reams...there he is, following me around and peeking at me from behind things again. he bought a bag of doritos, but instead of leaving the store, i see him walking around the store still... i hide a lot. jackie apologizes, and we agree not to come back to macey's at night.
at this point, i'm not so worried anymore, cuz he never tries to talk to me. just creeped out. he still comes by jamba relatively often. sometimes he really just comes BY, like, stares in the window, but doesn't come in, and walks by...other times he comes in, with this other guy who sometimes buys him juice... and sometimes he just stands there for a bit, and then leaves without a word... so, not really scary.... but every time i look up and see him standing there, i feel a little creeped out...
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