law school

so, i've been hesitant about "going public" with such a big decision before i really know what's going on, but this is just too crazy...

yesterday i was talking to my parents on the phone, and explaining to them, as i have to some of you, that i was leaning toward gonzaga. they're a good school and had offered me a decent scholarship. not as big as some other schools, but my grandma (who lives in spokane) offered me free room and board, and that tipped the scales a bit...literally. my parents, knowing that originally byu had been my first choice, asked me if i'd heard anything. i hadn't and went on to explain (again) that since i hadn't planned on grad school my grades aren't as stellar as they could have been, and since i decided on law school a bit last-minute i didn't really study for the lsat, and as such only had maybe a 10% chance of getting in since byu is so competitive; so i'd kind of ruled that out. i figured that the only reason they hadn't already rejected me was that maybe they'd end up waitlisting me. most schools have their decisions out by now, so i told my parents that, barring any sudden changes in the situation, the plan was to go with gonzaga. so, of course, as soon as i say this, there's a sudden change in the situation...

tonight i came home and, before going to bed, had this feeling that i ought to check my email. nothing. then, on a whim, i decided to take a peek at my junk-mail box before emptying it. and, coincidently, amongst all the junk there was an email sent today from dean hernandez of the BYU law school informing me that i indeed had been "waitlisted". is this some type of sign? i don't know... do i even want to stay in provo after all? i don't know... do i want to give up my plan of being the smartest kid at the dumb school so i can be the dumbest kid at the smart school? i don't know... all i do know is that life is crazy, and it seems that every time i have my mind practically made up, something like this happens that forces me to re-evaluate everything. not that i even have a say in the situation. for all i know i'm last on the list and it won't make a difference...