unsolicited advice

i seem to have been getting a lot of this lately, and it can be pretty frustrating. especially when it's from people who don't know me that well. i don't want to be rude..."you don't know what you're talking about, so why don't you just shut up." but sometimes they really don't know.

but, i suppose i could be inadvertently soliciting some of this. i hate insincere one-word answers to questions like "how are you?" things like "fine" are such a waste, and even things like "good" and "great" are often conditioned responses, and many times not even true. i understand that sometimes people are too busy for real conversations, but i'd only ask how someone was if i really wanted to know. if it was just a general greeting then i'd use a general greeting: "hello," "hi,' or even just "hey" or a smile. so, when people ask me how i am or how i'm doing or what have you, i try to be appropriately specific, but still honest. if i'm having a rough week, i'll probably tell you. hopefully not in a pathetic, whiny way, but i might say, "oh, rough week, but i'm okay. things are still pretty good overall."

however, it seems that some people seem to think that this really means "i'm a horrifically depressed individual in need of help that only you and your superior intellect and life experience can provide. please tell me how to solve all my life problems, and do it now." once in a while such a response may be hoped for from a very close friend or family member, but otherwise it can be really frustrating.

but, the other day i was talking to a friend, and another individual who happened to be around at the time started in on the whole "you need to...blah, blah, yadda, yadda..." and my friend interrupted and said "no, i think bridgette has a really good handle on the situation. she knows it and she's dealing with it really well, much more that i could, so just let her deal with it herself." which of course elicited the "oh, well, i just meant...blah...thought it would be good to...blah..."

but it was nice to be reassured that it's my life, thus making me best suited to deal with it. that feels good.