anticipation

okay, so i was catching up on bismark's blog today, and i realized that while he's been going crazy, i've been totally slacking... but of course, i came up with an excuse: see, it seems like my life must be really exciting right now cuz i just got a new job and i'm gonna be moving to seattle and everything, so there's a lot of exciting stuff going on...only it hasn't really happened yet, and all of this time that i've been waiting to see what was going to happen i've hesitated to say anything because, just like with the DP blogs, as soon as it seems to be going well enough to start writing about, all of a sudden it falls apart and i have to shove my foot in my mouth...so i guess i didn't want to talk too much about all the jobs i was applying for and plans i was making cuz then if they didn't work out i'd look dumb. not that i don't always just end up looking dumb anyway...but can you really blame me for occasional attempts at avoiding it? okay, yeah, maybe you can... but hopefully in a couple weeks when i actually move i'll have something worth saying.

in the meantime, let me just throw this out there:
i went for a walk tonight and i was thinking about how this girl who i think is going to be my new roommate is probably really cute and i'll never be able to bring guys over cuz she'll steal them away...not that i have anyone for her to steal, but should i find somebody that would definitely suck. not that i've even met her yet, but she's into outdoorsy stuff, so she's probably got a great body, and she's got this really girly-high-pitched voice, so she's probably really cute and stuff too, and then i started making this list of what guys seem to value in girls: (1) body, (2) active/outdoorsy-ness, (3) clothes, effort in appearance, (4) face, (5) intelligence/personality. then i realized that this list has nothing to do with guys, but actually is just the reverse list of my own qualities: apparently i assume, due to my constant failures with guys, that what they want must be exactly the opposite of what i am. but this girl, who i haven't even met yet, i have assumed after one phone convo that she's exactly the opposite of me and thus that every guy is going to want her instead of me. wow. talk about issues! i definitely have some. but, i have this horrible feeling that i'm right and that they aren't issues, they're just an unfortunate reality of my life...we'll see...if you're shaking your head at me right now, just wait a few years and if i'm single when i turn 30 then you owe me...