"my friend"

that's what he refers to me as; i heard him say it to someone last night. so, no DP for me it seems. cuz there's somebody else who he's dating now. i wish he'd given me a heads up on that a little earlier, but i suppose i wasn't surprised cuz it's become one of those things that i'm always afraid of, and it seems for good reason. bummer though, cuz i told him i had a rough week so he called me last night and we talked for like an hour and a half (which is a pretty standard convo time for us) and he told me that he meant all the nice things he said about me and it wasn't like there wasn't potential, he just decided to try something else cuz he knew her better. i don't know if that's supposed to make me feel better, but if it does then not very much...i finally find somebody who says i'm attractive and means that he actually thinks so and not just that he figures somebody else might and he slips through my fingers. am i supposed to take this as proof that there are other guys like that out there somewhere? or should i just remind myself that i'm a total idiot and will always botch every opportunity i ever have?
so, i'm going to seattle for a job interview this week, but instead of being 95% excited to see a boy and 5% excited about the job (and another 100% excited about the prospect of getting the job so i can see the boy on a regular basis), i just kind of wish that i weren't going at all. except, now i have my grades back and know for sure that i've lost my scholarship and i'll need the job even more, so i'm going anyway.
but on the bright side, i think i get to pick my g'ma from the mental health clinic. they don't allow visitors so i really don't know how she's doing, but i hope she's doing better. DP says he wants me to tell him how it goes. why does he have to say it in such a concerned voice? i guess that's the friendly thing to do, right? dang him for being so nice to me and making it impossible for me to be angry. i was the one who got my hopes up, so i only have myself to blame if i'm disappointed now. i guess it's good that i'm not spending an extra day in seattle with DP cuz then i can just make it a 1-day trip there and back and not leave my g'ma alone at home. do i actually want the job? i don't know. i was determined to take it if i lost my scholarship, but moving all the way out to seattle with just one friend who's just a friend who's already dating somebody else isn't as exciting as the situation i was hoping for.
oh well... i guess a friend is better than nothing. travis said when he broke up with me i was demoted and that now we're only acquaintances cuz i don't qualify as a friend. that really hurt. and strangely, it was still really nice and comfortable talking to DP, even after i knew we were just friends, so, yeah...weird... life is weird.

bam!

new blog design to go with the new me.

the new me is 7 lbs lighter than she was two weeks ago. partly due to the fact that the end of law school has allowed me the time and attention to get into my new eating and exercise regimen with renewed vigor; and partly because when i kicked it off i was retaining water like a beast. gross, i know, but i'm a woman and that's just how it goes sometimes. i have to live with it, why shouldn't you? (that was rhetorical, so forget whatever comment you might be coming up with...)

life is funny. we all know this. never goes how you expect. but i've been having quite a few pleasant surprises lately. you may notice that along with the revamp i got rid of the quiz about what i'm gonna do if (when) i quit law school. although i appreciate the suggestions, it seems that the most likely plan is currently: moving to seattle with starting pay double what i'm getting here in spokane. this will hopefully allow me to hook it up with the person who has recently caused a severe increase in my telephone usage... let's call him "DP." i'm not sure just yet if he tastes as good as dr.p, but he looks good enough to taste, and i'm planning on gettin it done in the next couple weeks. ;) this plan of course means that i have to make it past my next interview with flying colors, but at this point i'm feeling pretty hopeful, since i already passed the prelim evaluation and the skills test... only time will tell...

in the meantime i'm jamba-in' it up at the shadle safeway. that may not mean much to anyone, but i discovered today that although i have been referring to it derisively as my "crappy back-up" i couldn't help but pitch in and help with some dishes today when i didn't have to and i was freakishly excited to make some customer recommendations... i can't help it. i'm an official jamba nerd. unfortunately, the non-real jamba status of this particular location means NO FREE SHIFT MEAL and NO EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT, which was rather disappointing. did i say rather? gah...

still...i'm feeling pretty perky...hence the pink/purple motif i've got goin on here...

oh, and shout out to bismark: i was chattin it up with DP the other night and he mentioned that his fancy razor wasn't good enough for him, so he'd given it to a friend, who was taking him to some special shaving place to pay him back. i thought of you of course. tried to tell him that i understand shaving fetishes cuz "i have this friend..." but i don't think he believed that i could even begin to understand and just kind of cut me off... i laughed.

(empty)

cleaned out the trunk of my car... emptiest it's been since i moved here.

it's too bad trav and i don't talk or see each other anymore cuz out of everyone in the world he would be the most excited to see it right now... even more than me! haha.

that is all.