the witching hour

i've been having some strange dreams lately...which always involve people i know in real life, but often in rather foreign and/or surprising situations...which are generally also rather frustrating. i suppose perhaps this reflects the amount of frustration i've been feeling over the impending doom which i will be facing as soon as i get back to washington and have to face a lot of strange and upsetting situations which will be rather determinative of my future and over which i feel a definitive lack of control or even understanding... these strange dreams are also the kind where you seem to wake up not suddenly, but in this transition of awareness that you're just dreaming which seems to always leave me laying in bed thinking, often with a rather strange starting place. in this morning's case my thoughts continued along a strange path ending with the thought that i may not look like much in the daytime, but to a desperate guy i must start to seem rather attractive when it gets closer to 3 am. i was just about to start integrating this knowledge into a plan for how i may more effectively end my long run of singlehood, when i glanced at my cell phone to see that i had a text message (which has been increasingly uncommon as of late, much to my chagrin). in the message, this girl i know was ranting about how guys think she's an object and only text/call her to get some action, and at the bottom it indicated that it was received at around 3:30 am. so, it would appear that i ought to expand my hypothesis a bit. it isn't that i get more attractive late at night, it's just that desperate guys give up and just go for whatever (whoever) they can get at about that time. this knocked me out of my illogical reasoning by reminding me that attempting to prey on desperate guys is really just letting them prey on me and that, yes, as horrible as it may sound: i'm better off by myself. dang it.